It does not make sense that in a room so full I could ever feel so alone.
Outside the room are more people still yet I have far from left a mark…
Not even a spark.
Nope no flickering flame here…
Know one can see me.
Nothing I do matters as I have no lasting effect..
No words of substance,
Nothing that makes a dent.
I am lost in my own bitter world and the armor I wear is soooo thick.
The pin prick of the fake hello you utter bounces off with such a loud revereb it makes me want to shutter.
I do kind of feel sick.
Why even acknowledge me?
You don’t really care!
I bet you would not even notice if I slipped right past..
I know you would not miss me if I just failed to ever come back…
Other people have…
Failed to come back I mean.
I don’t see anyone chasing them down
Accept maybe me.
I am hoping to share that I really care that I might understand what they are feeling…
That I too have a date with my switch blade…
At least I know it will show.
Seriously though, you make me so mad!!
What the hell is this feeling?
I can’t quite get a grab of the way it is pounding and drowning out my soul
It’s wrapped it’s claws around my skull and it’s never letting go.
The pastor says we war not against flesh and blood but against powers and principalities…
But all I know is that in the darkness everyone looks the same
Friend or foe I just don’t know, what can rid me of the pain…
The pain of my depression.
Then in the night when I think all is lost in the deepest and darkest despair,
A twisted breath
A shutter as death makes it’s pass over…
I breath a sigh as You pass by and block the fatal blow
I see a light
That pierces the night
It gives me sight
A glimpse if you will
Of what I might be
…why…
Because a man named Jesus died for me…
Except He’s more than a man
He’s God’s ultimate plan!
And He came to set the captives free!
Don’t you see, it’s in Him I find my face
He knows my true insides and does not turn away.
To Him I am beautiful
He has made me clean!
Even now the depression is just a fleeting thing…
A whisp of a memory.
Quia Gloria Eius 